The first time ever I saw your face

The above recipix is the first one I ever did. I was thrilled. Yeah, you know in that special way. I knew these things would make a great slot in some magazine or other. My first thought was for the Guardian on saturday. Then I thought the Observer Food Monthly. Yeah the OFM. A good and sharp friend of mine suggested we package one of my recipix nicely and aim it directly at the editor of the mag. It got sent on a tuesday. Wednesday morning the editor of the OFM calls me up and says yeah we like it, we like it a lot. I get excited. I hit the roof. Goddam. Yeah.

Then it went awful quiet. Then I called the editor and they said they werent so sure and could I wait two weeks. I'm nice. I do what people ask of me. I waited two weeks. Two weeks expires on Friday. I am waiting. Goddam it I wonder what is gonna happen. I really want to get into that publication.

Anyway.................

Got rid of the wife and got myself a new lover

She weighs in at 66 kilos. She can take all the shit I can give her and she is made of iron.

You goddam fruit cake

Man, these big cakes with soft light sponge and heavy sugar paste icing are difficult. But I have found the answer - fruit cake. Who cares that nobody likes it? It is solid. It has a layer of marzipan to give a smooth surface to ice and IT CAN HOLD UP without putting the fear of god into me each time I look at it.

The bottom cake is 30 cm in diameter 10cms high on each side. That means you gotta roll out icing half a fucking metre wide and then lift it on to the cake without it ripping and then you got to mould the pleats in. There is an awful lot of pleats. This is nerve-racking enough without thinking the damn thing is going to collapse under the weight cos him such lovely light sponge. The icing for the bottom cake alone weighs over 2 kilos. The sponge probably weighs less than a kilo.

So, yeah. fruit cake all the way, baby. Fruit cake all the way.

Revelation

Here is the cake I took for a ride a couple of days ago.
Mounting cakes (not biblically) aint easy and especially if the chocolate is soft. These horrible chocolate cigarettes are fantastic though. They hide all sorts of errors and you can lift the thing easily and MOUNT it. My fear of of wedding cakes is diminishing.

more cake

Driving wedding cakes around the island is nerve-racking. In fact there is nothing about wedding cakes that isn't nerve-racking.

let them eat...cake

Been doing mucho trabajo recently and this has been one of the things. Goddam wedding cakes are killer. If you screw someones birthday cake up it aint great but it dont really matter. If you mess up a cake for wake nobody is really gonna care. but if you fuck up someones wedding cake they aint gonna be happy. Or maybe they are, I dont know, but I know I damn sure dont want to find out.